wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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