So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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