i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize