I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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