I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize