I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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