it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We're too hungover to prance.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
