I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
