why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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