Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
