It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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