that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
