I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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