Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Randomize
