Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
