Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
