Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize