obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Randomize
