And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
