awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
