i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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