soooo we both peed the bed last night...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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