I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
