just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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