So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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