he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
