New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
