I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
