And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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