Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
4 words: hood of his car
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
