I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need to calm my uterus...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
