Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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