Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
