Sry I called you an 8
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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