Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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