Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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