try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
