You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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