i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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