First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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