I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
