I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
