i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
