I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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