i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
