Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
