shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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