Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
