Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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