You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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