He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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