Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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