I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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