My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We are all done wearing pants today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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