don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
