Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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