32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
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I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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