Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
