Christians are straight up FREAKS
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
