I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize