Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
