cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
