so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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