We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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