hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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