By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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