Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
